15. Tears of Healing

Raymond Eng

O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.

Psalm 30:2

One morning I heard a sermon from Pastor Joel Osteen. He told a real story that to this day, I recall vividly. He said there was a single mother who had fallen on economic hard time. Her house was foreclosed by the bank and was about to be auctioned off. She was heartbroken and felt helpless. On the day of the auction, she went to the auction site, she wanted to know who the successful bidder of her house would be, for she was unwilling to see her house go. She was in tears throughout, when it was her house on the block, another woman saw her and inquired as to what was going on. She told this woman her story, after hearing her story, this woman tried her best and successfully bided for the house. She then took the deed and handed it over to this single mother. This single mom asked her why she did that? That woman says, “My original plan was to give this house for my son as a gift, but we are living together, and at this time we don’t have the need for another house. When I saw your situation, you need this house more than my son. I am a Christian, the spirit of God moved me. The Bible says, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ I am just doing what the word of God says, God bless you!”

After hearing that story, I recall back when I too, had no ability to pay the bank for the mortgage. My building was nearly foreclosed and on the auction block by the bank. I think of those arid moment feeling so helpless and tears shed. They were beyond mere words. My heart was so unsettled, there was rarely a moment of tranquility. Majority of my friends left me, every day I was in pain, I was hurt all over, my tears swelled up from the bottom of my heart endlessly. I felt like I was in a furnace being burned. Every time when I was driving by myself, I cried out to God in tears, ‘God, send me your messenger to help me! Hear my tears, have mercy on me! I have no one I can depend on here on earth, you are my only hope’. Those tears shed at the time far exceeded the quantity of tears I shed when my mother passed away…every time when I fell in such despair, I thought of what David said to God when he too, was in despair; ‘I lift my hands to you, my heart desire for you, like dry landing longing for rain. Lord, for your name’s sake save me, by your righteousness lead me out from the land of painful trials’. This is how I live by God’s power day by day; the word of God always comforts me. If it had not been the grace of God, I trust I would already been falling apart. During that time period both my heart and body carried deep scars, thank God for his healing.

I think of another song titled ‘the healing love’ from ‘Music of Clay’, its lyric says;

You lead me out from the valley of mud
You help me to stand when I just bum along and fallen
You carry me when my body is full of scars
You wake me up in your bosom
The love of Jesus heals my heart, a broken life restores
The hope in my heart relights anew,
and dare to open up myself yet once again
The love of Jesus strengthens my heart,
the wings of faith take flight again
To fly over every mountain top and deep valleys,
Thank you Jesus for your healing love

May this song be an encouragement to you as much as it had encouraged me!

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Credit: Eng, Raymond. Edited by Angelyn Loh. Translated by Abraham Koo, Raymond Eng, 2020.