【Tears of my heart】6. Tears of Surrender

Raymond Eng

In Memory of Brother Raymond
The Sheep of the Heavenly Kingdom – Pastor Willy Ng

6. Tears of Surrender

Proverbs 3:9-10. Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce, then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.

Many years ago, CCHC had a ministry called ‘the Door of Grace’. The idea of this ministry was to turn materials offered by brothers and sisters into cash and use those resources to help developmentally challenged children. At the time, they needed a place to store the donated materials that were waiting to be sold to raise the capital to fund the ministry. And although I was still in economic hardship and could have rented out the space to help alleviate my dire financial situation, yet I saw the need of God’s family, so I let them use the space for that purpose for free. I hope through my action many more people will be blessed, and God’s name be glorified! Though I have struggled to make this decision, eventually I was willing to surrender to God, giving Him what little I had as my response to his love and grace. When I do so willingly, my tears gushed out endlessly. What I shed was tears of surrender and afterwards I was blessed by God’s wonderful His provision.

After two years of severe trial and waiting, a miracle occurred. I was able to have the ability to buy back the property. Through this ‘lost and regain’, I experienced God’s faithfulness and mercy. Like the Psalmist said in Psalm 103, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our inequities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” I am not trying to tell you how skillful and amazing I was able to regain this lost property, for if it were not the grace and mercy of God, I will be a person who has nothing. I have made a covenant with God, I will offer this building to God’s service, glory be to God, Amen!

Credit: Eng, Raymond. Edited by Angelyn Loh. Translated by Abraham Koo, Raymond Eng, 2020.

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