【Tears of my heart】4. Tears of Release

Raymond Eng

Our beloved brother Raymond has rested in peace in the Lord’s arms on March 20. We are reluctant to let go of him so soon. He’s passionate towards people, always helpful to those in need, and very supportive to the outreach ministries for the kingdom of God.
Last year, he published his second autobiography “Tears of My Heart” and gave permission for it to be posted on our Truth Monthly. Let us get to know our brother from his writings, who firmly believed in the Lord and lived to love God and others!

Psalm 146:7. Who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry?

The Lord sets the prisoners free.

My dad left me when I was only a year old to live in America. I had never met him. He died when I was ten while I was still in Hong Kong. I had not a sense of grief of his death since I had never met him. To me he is a stranger, I didn’t know him, there was no sense of feeling. He had never done his fatherly duty, and honestly, I have never sensed my father’s love. I am his only son, why couldn’t he cherish me to love me? Deep in my heart was this difficult ‘tied knot’. Why was I born to him to be left to my own devices?

Thank God for our heavenly Father. He is the father who loved me the most, like prophet Isaiah said, “We have peace because He suffered the punishment, we are healed by his stripes.” Jesus’s love healed the wounds of my soul. About three years ago, I came before my father’s tomb, and said words of gratitude, ‘Thank you for giving me life, so that I can come to know God, and become a person of worth and being useful. And also becoming a person who is glad to help those who are in need. Thanks, Dad’. After I said those words, my tears poured out from within me. My ‘tied knot’ was at last untied! I did not shed tears of complaint, but rather, tears of release. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds.”

Life comes from God. God never creates ‘substandard’ stuff. God affirms the value of our lives, and one of the purposes for our creation is to give Him glory. For life is like a stage. Every person has a different role to play, so let us play the role we are assigned well to glorify God!

Credit: Eng, Raymond. Edited by Angelyn Loh. Translated by Abraham Koo, Raymond Eng, 2020.

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