【Tears Of My Heart】2. Tears of Childhood

Raymond Eng

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I shed my unforgettable tears when my mother had to leave me for the first time to the U.S. to take care of my ailing father. I was only 7 years old, too young to take care of myself on my own. At the time, I was studying at Pui Chin primary school and stayed in their dormitory. During the summer, I moved to a relative’s place near Hung Shui Que area near Yuen Long, to help with the farm chores, like breeding chicken, and that’s how I spent my childhood.…. I felt very lonely, life was hard and unhappy; I was as lost as a little chick without its mother. I felt like the water lily floating on water, having no direction in life, no home to go to, and only living under the care of someone else, let alone family warmth which was non-existent. In the eyes of others, I was a wild kid, how can one have family’s imprinted value when he has no family? Some parents of other children weren’t willing to let their kids play with me; this is the way how I lived through my childhood.

My father died when I was 10 years old. I had never had a chance to see him before his death. It was not until age 15 when I left Hong Kong to be reunited with my mother in the U.S. If it had not been the grace of God, I had all the makings to become a problem child, had low self-esteem, self-pity, and even a tendency towards autism.

Thank God I met Him! When I met God to accept Jesus as my personal Savior, my life hasn’t been the same since. I want to thank Jesus for how He loved me on the cross, shedding his blood to transform my life! 2nd Corinthians 5:18 says, “If a person is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things are pass and all things become new.” I didn’t understand why God was so good to me. Why did he love me so much? Having tasted the grace of God, I wanted to give back to God. That’s why I am particularly burdened to the Left Behind Children’s Ministry, because I was a left-behind child before, living as though I was an orphan. I am particularly supportive and care for organizations such as CCHC and China’s Left Behind Children Ministry, hoping what I do for these needy children will give them an experience of real love.

(The author came to Christ for 56 years, Tent Maker, he has established over 15+ chain food stores in NYC)

Credit: Eng, Raymond. Edited by Angelyn Loh. Translated by Abraham Koo, Raymond Eng, 2020.

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