【Tears of my heart】7. Tear of Dedication

Raymond Eng

7. Tears of Dedication

John 14:21. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.

One year I attended a meeting hosted by New York Short Term Mission Center. There were two sisters whom I know were willing to respond to God’s call to become ministers of the Word. They did so by terminating their current jobs. When I saw them leaving their seats to go forward and dedicate their lives to His calling, my heart was greatly moved. But from the depths of my heart I had a sense somehow, I hadn’t given God what I should. So I prayed silently, saying, ‘Lord, what can I give you? I am willing to be an instrument in your hand. Though I am not called to be a minister, I am willing to respond to your love, I am willing to give my energy for your kingdom’s work, to have a part in your sacred ministry.’ After that prayer, I had a feeling of fire been ignited within me. I knew it was the conviction of the Holy Spirit and I also knew God had accepted my prayer. I was so moved that I shed ‘tears of dedication’.

In reality, not long before that, I wanted to study in the seminary. But knowing I am not a student material; I fit better as a businessman. Thank God, He has given me a mind of business. He has also given me the gift of management; I know how to utilize resources and personnel. God will enable every person’s gifts to be used for His sacred ministry. God gives each one of us different gifts, so each one of us should use the gifts we are given. Romans 12:7-8 says, “If service, in our serving, the one who teaches, in his teaching, the one who exhorts, in his exhortation, the one who contributes, in generosity, the one who leads, with zeal, the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” So being able to focus on what gifts God has given us is very important. Ephesians 4:11 also says, “God has given apostles, prophets, evangelist, pastor and teacher.” The purpose for the Holy Spirit to distribute gifts to everyone is to exhort the church and build up the body of Christ. So if you are a pastor, then nurture the church well, do not be drawn to the pursuit of worldly fame or love for materialistic things. If you have the teaching gifts, teach well. If you are gifted in evangelism, do well in your outreach. We have to do our best to fulfill our responsibilities given, to use our gifts to glorify God and to bless fellow men, thus we won’t waste resources given.

Though I am not a pastor or a minister and definitely have no teaching gifts, neither had no theological education underpinning, yet I have a special burden for theological education and training. New York Theological Education Center (NYTEC) is one of the organizations I support. I hope through theological education more personnel can be trained to serve in God’s kingdom, I pray they become good Christian soldiers to build up God’s kingdom, to fight the good fight of faith.

Credit: Eng, Raymond. Edited by Angelyn Loh. Translated by Abraham Koo, Raymond Eng, 2020.

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